please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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