i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You ruined the universe
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
