I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Congratulations! We have a period
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
