in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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