If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
