Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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