dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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