Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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