Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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