pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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