Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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