I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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