I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
