Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
