I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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