We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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