Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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