Ambien. No doubt about it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
