I didn't shave. On purpose
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
