The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
