I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
