Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
