We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
