Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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