So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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