While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
