Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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