He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
