HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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