If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
