We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
