Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
