Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you had me at cake vodka
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
