dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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