I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
