dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
