When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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