tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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