so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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