I think my vagina is haunted
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
