I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
