Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
