i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
