Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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