If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
