Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
