I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
