I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wear drunk well.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
