I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
