is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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