and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dear god my vagina.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
